Humor

Try to remember when you go out that cameras are everywhere..

































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This hapless sheep has become a real life 'ram-bo' after inadvertently abseiling down a hill when its horn became snagged on an electricity wire.The unfortunate sheep was spotted bleating for help more than 15 feet above the ground next to a telegraph pole. Luckily it did not catch the current from the wire.

The drama unraveled at the small town of Helgoysund on the Norwegian coast. Tourists at the scene mounted a rescue attempt and eventually roped it to pull it back to ground level. After nearly an hour, and some ingenious rope work, the German tourists managed to bring the sheep down unharmed. Spectators suggested the sheep may have been grazing on the hill, and while trying to reach a field of ewes, it got its horn stuck on the zip wire. As it got more agitated, it was pulled down the hill on the wire it was attached to and ended up more than five metres above the ground








































Alex Sim-Wise makes a stop at Kabukicho, the infamous red light district of Tokyo where tourists can visit over 3,000 bars, night clubs, love hotels, massage parlors and clubs. Alex finds out if she has what it takes to be the perfect hostess!

Video Game - E3 2011 - AOTS Exclusive

A blonde walks into a electronic store and asks the manager, "Can I buy that TV"
"No"
"Why not?"
"Because your a blonde."
So the blonde goes out and dyes her hair red. She returned to the electronic store and said, "Can I buy that TV?"
"No"
"Why not?"
"Your a blonde."
So the blonde goes and shaves her hair off and returns to the electronic store and says, "Can I buy that TV?"
"No"
"Why not?"
"You're a blonde"
"How can you tell I'm a blonde, I dyed my hair red, then shaved it off!"
"Because that's not a TV, that's a microwave!"







A blonde calls her husband at work one day and asks him, "Can you help me when you get home?" "Sure," he replies. "What's the problem?"
"Well, I started a really hard puzzle and I can't even find the edge pieces." "Look on the box," he said. "There's always a picture of what the puzzle is." "It's a big rooster," she said. The husband arrives home and tells his blonde wife, "Okay, put the corn flakes back in the box."








After a bizarre cliff side accident, all eleven members of the women's outing found themselves hanging perilously from a rope over the edge of the cliff. Ten of the women were blondes and one was a brunette. After dangling there for a only a short while it became obvious that the rope would not hold all their collective weight. They decided that to prevent the rope snapping and killing them all, one of them must sacrifice themselves and let go, to save the others.
Well they talked about it for a while but no-one could decide a fair way of of choosing who should jump. Finally, the brunette, exasperated by the indecisiveness of the blondes, could see that if nobody acted soon the rope was going to snap.

To save the others she bravely decided that it must be her who made the sacrifice. She plucked up a little courage and told the others that she would jump to save them.

After giving a short but very moving speech that she hoped would be remembered after she'd gone, the blondes were so moved that they all started clapping!































BRAIN TEASER

Answers below. Don't cheat.

1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years - Which room is safest for him?

2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 10 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together - How can this be?

3. There are two plastic jugs filled with water. How could you put all of this water into a barrel, without using the jugs or any dividers, and still tell which water came from which jug?

4. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you throw it away?

5. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday?

6. This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it? It looks so plain you would think nothing was wrong with it! In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is unusual though. Study it, and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out! Try to do so without any coaching!


ANSWERS
1. The third. Lions that haven't eaten in three years are dead.

2. The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband, developed it, and hung it up to dry.

3. Freeze them first. Take them out of the jugs and put the ice in the barrel. You will be able to tell which water came from which jug.

4. The answer is Charcoal. In Homer Simpson's words: hmmmm... Barbecue.

5. Sure you can: Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow!

6. The letter "e", which is the most common letter in the English language, does not appear once in the long paragraph.

was a year without parallel. Threat Level’s bread-and-butter themes of censorship, hacking, security, privacy, copyright and cyberwar were all represented in tug-of-war struggles with unprecedented outcomes.

Google defeated China’s censors, but caved to corporate censorship in the United States. The largest computer-crime case ever prosecuted ended in the nation’s longest prison term. A small-time Xbox modder who advertised his services online beat the federal rap. And a mysterious computer virus called Stuxnet finally put proof to decades of warnings that malware will eventually be used to kinetic effect in the real world.

A myriad of court decisions seemed to be a boon for online rights, while others clearly were a step backward. The year 2010 saw the rise of the newspaper copyright troll, and judges pushed back on absurd jury verdicts for music file sharing and outdated electronic spying rules.

And a secret-spilling website flirting with insolvency and dissolution suddenly burst onto the world stage. WikiLeaks was without a doubt the biggest 2010 development in Threat Level’s world.
WikiLeaks Takes On World Powers

As the year began, the project appeared to be on its last legs — just another cypherpunk fever dream destined for the same dustbin as digital cash and assassination politics. Site founder Julian Assange had abandoned the wiki portion of the concept, after crowds of volunteer analysts failed to congeal around WikiLeaks’ impressive, but not yet explosive, trove.

Bradley Manning as he appeared in his Facebook photo.

Assange also experimented with auctioning early access to leaks for news outlets, without immediate success. By January, the site had hit financial bankruptcy, and its homepage and archive were replaced by a public plea for donations.

Then came Bradley Manning, a disaffected 22-year-old Army intelligence officer who wanted “people to see the truth.” With one disturbing video and nearly a million leaked U.S. documents later, WikiLeaks had raised more than $1.2 million, and ignited a battle over the meaning of journalism, national security and censorship.

The WikiLeaks saga began in earnest with the April release of the “Collateral Murder” video showing more than a dozen people in Iraq being killed in three U.S. Apache helicopter attacks.

Victims included two Reuters employees, one carrying a camera that was apparently mistaken for a weapon. The partial release of 92,000 reports from the war in Afghanistan followed in July. Then came 400,000 Iraq war reports in October, and finally the slow, steady disclosure of 250,000 U.S. diplomatic cables that kicked off just after Thanksgiving.

The human race learned long ago that cooking meat before eating it would protect them from certain diseases. Since then this practice of cooking has grown to include all types of foods and is now considered an art. Very few meals are eaten which include raw elements, except for the leafy green salad.

One advantage of eating raw is that it brings Nature’s intentions into focus. When I speak of eating raw I am referring to fruit, nuts, and vegetables, which taste good to the majority of humankind in their basic simplicity direct from tree, bush or vine.

I realize it isn’t easy to simply abandon thousands of years of tradition and revert back to 100% raw food. Margaret Mead once said, “It is easier to change a man’s religion than to change his diet.” So to the point, there are 10 advantages to a diet of fresh, whole raw fruits, vegetables, and nuts, which may lead you to find a greater place for them in your diet.

1. Raw foods are better quality, therefore you eat less to satisfy your nutritional needs. The heat of cooking depletes vitamins, damages proteins and fats, and destroys enzymes which benefit digestion. As your percentage of raw foods increases you feel satisfied and have more energy on smaller meals because raw food has the best balance of water, nutrients, and fiber to meet your body’s needs.

2. Raw foods have more flavor than cooked foods so there is no need to add salt, sugar, spices, or other condiments that can irritate your digestion system or over stimulate other organs.

3. Raw foods take very little preparation so you spend less time in the kitchen. Even a child of 5 or 6 can prepare most items for breakfast, lunch or dinner. This gives children a sense of self-esteem and independence, not to mention the break it gives Mom or Dad.

4. When you are eating raw there’s little chance of burns, unless you’re in the middle of a forest fire or out in the sun too long. Just think! No burns to tongues, the roof of your mouth, or fingers, and many fewer house fires.

5. Cleaning up after a raw meal is a snap. No baked-on oils or crusty messes. And any inedible parts go directly to the compost pile.

6. Eating a diet of raw foods can reverse or stop the advance of many chronic diseases, including heart disease and cancer. Remember, cooking creates free radicals, which are the major cause of cancer. When you lower the number of free radicals your cells are bombarded with, you lower your risk of cancer.

7. A raw food diet can protect you from acute diseases such as colds, flu, measles, etc. Raw foods maintain a healthy body and a healthy body will not become diseased.

8. As long as you combine raw food properly according to the rules of Natural Hygiene, you will soon reach a level where you no longer suffer from heartburn, gas, indigestion or constipation.

9. It is environmentally sound. With humanity on a diet of raw foods, the food industry would close up shop and take up organic gardening. This would save us enormous amounts of natural resources used to produce power for these industries. Nuclear power would be clearly unnecessary. And think of how many trees and oil reserves could be saved without the need for the paper and plastics used in packaging our processed foods. There would also be less carbon dioxide released in to the atmosphere when all the cooking stopped and more oxygen produced from all the new orchards and gardens, thus helping to reverse the Greenhouse Effect.

10. Eating raw saves you money on food, vitamins, pots and pans, appliances, doctor bills, drugs, and health insurance.

So don’t waste your food, yourself, and our planet by cooking what you eat. Fruits, nuts, and vegetables which are whole, fresh and raw are brimming with life and have the ability to transmit their life force directly to you.


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TYPES OF RAW FOOD DIETS: A BRIEF SURVEY

There are many types of raw food diets. A list, with descriptions, follows.

* Sproutarian - one whose diet is predominantly sprouts. Those eating only sprouts are extremely rare; most sproutarians have a varied raw food diet.

* Living Fooder - version of sproutarianism. The Ann Wigmore-style living fooder has a vegan diet centered on sprouts, raw fermented foods, and raw blended foods. Hippocrates Institute (Brian Clement) and Gabriel Cousens teach similar, yet slightly different, versions of living foods diets.

* Natural Hygiene - natural hygienists disagree sharply among themselves regarding the details of natural hygiene. A diet of raw fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds. The diet is usually vegan, but Tilden (co-founder of natural hygiene in modern times) encouraged use of non-vegetarian foods. Following high (%) fruit diets is discouraged by most hygienists. However, some who consider themselves to be hygienists, do advocate high fruit diets. There is very wide variation in diet and health practices among hygienists; e.g. Disagreements on the use of sprouts, seaweeds, dried fruit, etc. Some otherwise "orthodox" hygienists make occasional use of raw milk/cheese/eggs in their diet (this is discussed by Ward Nicholson in the January 1997 issue of the "Health & Beyond" newsletter). The American Natural Hygiene Society reportedly promotes a predominantly raw diet, but advocates a place for cooked grains and steamed vegetables in the diet. (Note: the preceding remarks are intended to show the wide diversity of hygienic views; it is not meant as criticism.)

* Instinctive Eating (Anopsology) - sequential mono-eating, guided by the senses (smell, and taste change = signal to stop eating). In practice, instincto diet often centers on raw fruit, seafood, meat, with some vegetables, and excludes dairy and grains. Some instinctos eat very little seafood/meat. A similar diet, the Paleolithic diet, has recently become more popular in raw food circles.

* Essene - one whose diet is based on the Essene Gospels of Peace, which claims that Jesus was a member of the Essene sect, and a raw food vegetarian. Diet consists of raw sprouts, wheatgrass, vegetables, and fruit. Use of raw dairy is explicitly authorized by the Essene gospels, so the diet is often lacto-vegetarian rather than vegan. Many Essenes use fermented dairy products, specifically yogurt.

* Fruitarian - one whose diet is predominantly fruit. As a standard, suggest using 75+% fruit as the marker for using the term fruitarian. Here 'fruit' usually conforms to the common usage of the term - the reproductive product of trees, vines, bushes, rather than the botanical definition. Some fruitarians do eat small amounts of sprouts, and many fruitarians (but not all) do eat leafy greens.

* Liquidarian - one who consumes only liquids/juices. Usually a short-term cleansing diet, extremely rare as a long term diet.

* Breatharian. Not really a diet; one who does not eat but gets energy from the air. A rare practice of an obscure Tantric sect. If you want to be a breatharian, you should go to India and try to find a genuine teacher. (This is a difficult/dangerous path - not to be pursued for frivolous reasons!)

* (Generic) Raw Fooder - one whose diet is raw foods but who doesn't fit so neatly into a category, or prefers to not be categorized. Generally a vegan diet, but can be lacto-vegetarian (those who consume raw dairy), or non- vegetarian. Suggest that the diet should be 75+% raw before using the term 'raw fooder'.